Mae: Huh? Who is that? Mae? Mae who?

I'm back. Not that I ever really went away; Annie and I keep in touch regularly about the project, exercise, etc. I felt I needed to stop posting for a while in order to keep my little secret: I'm pregnant! I was worried about my workplace finding out (there is at least one casual reader of the blog who works with me) and wanted to keep it under wraps until I felt I was in safer territory. 

And here I am, 4 months in! 

Remember that wonderful cruise in February? Well, there you go. The mister and I had made a plan to set our sights on the next year or so for getting pregnant. Given my age (35), I figured that it would take at least that long, and never did I dream that it would happen this quickly. 

I was counting on it taking longer for a couple of reasons, but one of the main ones was that I wanted to get more of this weight off. There are days that I feel selfish, reckless and irresponsible for getting pregnant while this overweight. I worry about the risks that I may be putting this little person through because of my stupid issues and problems. Stories like this don't help: Should doctors refuse to treat overweight pregnant women? 

In other moments of emotional vulnerability, I feel like I've let the project down. I'm a super crazy type-A person and I had a plan: plans are to be adhered to in my crazy head, and when they're not, I generally get bent out of shape. But don't get me wrong, in my 'right' m ind I'm elated and feel very blessed and lucky to be having this experience and look forward to the next few months.

I have an awesome obstetrician. We discussed my pregnancy weight-gain, and I'm supposed to stay within 10-15 pounds total because of my starting weight. She was very straight-forward about how hard it will be to stay within that, and I've been trying my best not to gain too much. Since coming back from the cruise in February, I've gained 4 pounds. Not so bad so far, but I know the real challenge is coming. This is going to be harder than the Project! 

Anyway, I can't sign off without congratulating Annie on her amazing success throughout this Project. I am in awe, and so so proud of her for taking on her first 5k race this weekend. I will be attending a very boring conference Saturday morning, but will have butterflies (of excitement) thinking about her!